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Resting Banker Girl Sleeps in Belgravia

last updated: 8 July 2009
Mimosa Cafe at Jumeirah Lowndes
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Who are these miserable, stick figures in slut shoes? “They’re yummy mummies, apparently,” replied Resting Banker Girl. But they’re all scowling - or they would be if the Botox hadn’t stopped them.
“Resting Banker Girl, these women look like they haven’t been laid in years. What’s yummy about that?”

We were on Motcomb Street in Belgravia, a killer heel hop from Christian Louboutin. The entire Arab population of the Gulf appeared to have decamped here and were busily buying up stripper shoes at £500 a pop.

Resting Banker Girl and I had checked into the boutique surrounds of the Jumeirah Lowndes Hotel, the more relaxed little sister of the Jumeirah Carlton. Formerly a nondescript hotel with dodgy carpet and wallpaper, the Lowndes has been completely fitted out and now markets itself as a rather chichi place to sleep for those who wish to do a nice bit of shopping or simply immerse themselves in the Belgravia-Knightsbridge-South Kensington axis of unreality.
 
It would be easy to continue our character assassination on the good people of West London, but I’ll pause for a moment to say I like the Jumeirah Lowndes. They’ve used the existing space well and installed cool, stylish furnishings of quite a high specification. The staff are friendly and they seem to be everywhere but not obtrusively. The extent of the effort they’ve made to turn the hotel around from its previous incarnation can be seen in the Mimosa café downstairs. Wisely they’ve kept the menu simple and it pays off: the steak and chips were excellent, and at around £15.00, surprisingly good value for the area. This is a well-located hotel that compares favourably with other small hotels in London. And it has the bonus of one of the best people-watching locations in this city, not to mention a ridiculous number of retail possibilities.

We spent the evening playing Eurotrash bingo in one of the area’s better-known bars. RBG was adamant she’d won with a particularly well-spotted older woman/younger man combo.

After a glorious night’s sleep in beds we wanted to kidnap, we went down to breakfast where nobody was looking at the pastries.

“I thought that was why you stayed in hotels,” said RBG.

“They don’t eat carbs around here. It’s the law.”

“More for us,” said RBG.

The Lowndes offers lots of delightful little packages centred around the attractions of the area. The ‘known attractions’ that is – and there are a lot more besides those make this a fun place to spend the night even if you’re not from out of town.

Here Is The Writer : Ms Robinson

Ms Robinson Ms Robinson was once a copywriter who wrote award winning ads and had eight hour lunches. Weary of the sex, glamour and lavish parties, she switched to corporate communications where she held the hands of executives and banned them from writing this execrable sentence: "In this ever changing world, the only constant is change itself." These days she writes for an increasing variety of people and has ghostwritten several books but if she told you who for, she'd have to kill you. Click here to read her blog, Woman of Experience.

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