What's in a Name?
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Naming a child is quite simply one of the most important decisions any parent makes.
My daughters' names came to us spontaneously when we saw them. Others I know spend months whittling down a list longer than Pete Docherty's rap sheet, vetoing each other's choices, not because the names are bad, but because of a negative connotations - such as one that was the name of the smelly kid in their class. (How do primary school teachers ever name their kids?)
Number one consideration should be how it fits with their surname. At school we had Brenda Day and Peter Staines. Mundane names until our form tutor insisted on calling the register using just the initial and surname. Spare a thought for the father of footballers Gary and Phil Neville. Was there a name shortage in the war that required their grandparents to name first born Neville?
Mistakenly lumbering your child with a bad name can be forgiven, but when it's done deliberately, that's just bad parenting. In April The New York Times published the results in its Worst Name Competition, which included:
Authors Michael Sherrord & Matthew Rayback researched historical and public record for the names contained in their book Bad Baby Names (Amazon £4.51). Many provide the 'inspiration' for Bart Simpsons crank calls to Moe, such as
Sometimes names just go out of fashion, like Adolf, for example. And whist you can have sympathy for those saddled with a bad moniker, its hard to feel for those who by deed poll, bring it on themselves, such as Honey Monster from Brighton and recent Crewe by-election candidate, The Flying Brick.
For absolute imaginative stupidity, the prize goes to the mother of Missouri siblings T'day, T'morrow and poor T'morin, who must already be tiring of being greeted each day by "Top of T'morin"!
Number one consideration should be how it fits with their surname. At school we had Brenda Day and Peter Staines. Mundane names until our form tutor insisted on calling the register using just the initial and surname. Spare a thought for the father of footballers Gary and Phil Neville. Was there a name shortage in the war that required their grandparents to name first born Neville?
Mistakenly lumbering your child with a bad name can be forgiven, but when it's done deliberately, that's just bad parenting. In April The New York Times published the results in its Worst Name Competition, which included:
- Chastity Beltz
- Tiny Bimbo
- Justin Credible
- Iona Knipl
Authors Michael Sherrord & Matthew Rayback researched historical and public record for the names contained in their book Bad Baby Names (Amazon £4.51). Many provide the 'inspiration' for Bart Simpsons crank calls to Moe, such as
- Al Caholic
- Anita Bath
- Amanda Hugginkiss
- Hugh Jass
- Maya Buttreeks
Sometimes names just go out of fashion, like Adolf, for example. And whist you can have sympathy for those saddled with a bad moniker, its hard to feel for those who by deed poll, bring it on themselves, such as Honey Monster from Brighton and recent Crewe by-election candidate, The Flying Brick.
For absolute imaginative stupidity, the prize goes to the mother of Missouri siblings T'day, T'morrow and poor T'morin, who must already be tiring of being greeted each day by "Top of T'morin"!
Here Is The Writer : Martin Gallagher
Martin Gallagher has never played for West Ham or England, nor had a number one hit single, but he has worked in the City for many years (for what that's worth). A life-long Londoner, he made the migration from east to west a few years back and is still trying to get used to the absence of fried chicken takeaways and the over abdundance of coffee shops. Martin is married, has two daughters, and is also interested in travelling, football and writing. He hopes to publish his first novel 'sometime in the future'.
view more articles by Martin Gallagher
