It’s a great tournament, and we finally have a good British player in Andy Murray who can grace the second week. So what are the things that gently annoy us?

• Why do so many tickets get sold to people who don’t like tennis, while the real fans have to queue for hours or even days to get tickets?
• Why are the people in the queues always smiling? You’d think they would be heartily pissed off having to stand for hours without a wash and with only stale burgers and hot dogs to eat.
• Why is Wimbledon such an awful place to get to? Unless you happen to live in SW something, it is one hell of a trek. People watching Andy Murray beating Wawrinka in five sets had to leave after the fourth set for fear of missing their last train home.
• Why does it take 40 minutes to close the roof on Centre Court? I’ve seen BMW convertibles take less time (it takes 1 minute to do it, but 38 minutes for BMW owners to work out how to do it).
• Why do tennis players, when about to serve, take three balls, look at them all and always throw one back? They are all the same, so why not save the time and just ask for two?
• Why can’t Andy Murray change his voice by one semitone either upwards or downwards just once in every interview?
• Why, when Britain has the No. 3 player in the world, can’t the whole country get behind him? Most do, but you hear so many people saying that they don’t like him because of his voice or because he isn’t as nice as Tim Henman. The fact that he is not as nice as Tim Henman is the reason why he’s No. 3 in the world!
• Why do women players grunt so much more than men? Curiously, it is the opposite with television spectators.
• Why is it that some women players can hit the ball equally hard in practice and in a match, but they only ever grunt during the match?
• Why is it that umpires never tend to do anything about it?

Have fun watching the final few days of Wimbledon, but don’t forget that tennis goes on for ten months of the year and can be followed both on an array of television channels and on the Internet. Enjoy and support Andy Murray!

Here Is The Writer : Peter Haines

Peter Haines has more than 20 years of experience in regulation and compliance, which he now offers through his consultancy firm. Peter has the misfortune to support Tottenham Hotspur, Kent CCC and England or Great Britain in most competitive sports. Fortunately, he enjoys a full and happy family life with his wife and two children in Suffolk, which compensates for the sporting trauma associated with supporting Spurs and England. Anybody who knows Peter well will confirm that he has the ideal physical profile of an armchair supporter.

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