What's a Champions League?
My muse said to me: You must write about the Champions League Final. What's that? I replied. Only the biggest football event in English history, he declared. Being played tonight. And so I set out to educate myself.
Firstly, I wondered where the apostrophe should go, and found - through my Google research - that there wasn't one. There is nothing possessive going on here, apart from the fact that the football club that wins it makes something like £zillion in additional revenues for winning it. No doubt the winners will be possessive of that.
So why do we care so much about this?
Because for the first time ever, two English teams are in the final. And these teams are Chelsea and Manchester United.
In case you don't already know all about this, here are the five very important facts about this contest, which has been playing on Europe's football pitches since September:
It is only appropriate that the last match of the season is contested between the same teams that met in the first match of the season. Last August's Community Shield between Man U and Chelsea at Wembley was an entirely dire affair, which ended being won by, well, my muse can't remember (but it was on penalties).
For the sake of the English fans who have nothing to cheer for once the European Championship starts in two weeks time (apparently England didn't qualify), let's hope tonight's match is better.
So why do we care so much about this?
Because for the first time ever, two English teams are in the final. And these teams are Chelsea and Manchester United.
In case you don't already know all about this, here are the five very important facts about this contest, which has been playing on Europe's football pitches since September:
- The Champions League is organised by the Union of European Football Associations, which is based in Nyon, Switzerland, a place not known for much other than the UEFA and the Paléo Festival, Switzerland's largest music festival. This year Massive Attack and The Hives will be playing.
- The match is being played at the Luzhniki Stadium in Moscow, and approximately 42K British fans are expected to attend. More importantly, the stadium has an artificial pitch, which has been replaced by Real Grass for the match. England had to play their European qualifier on the artificial pitch and lost. At least this time it's guaranteed one English team will win.
- Last year, as this year, three out of four semi-finalists were English. The fourth was AC Milan, who went on to win. Milan is a great place to shop during the January sales.
- If you click on this site, you can check out a replica of the Champions League trophy, made of 5K beer cans. It was on display at a shopping mall in Bangkok. Of course.
- Chelsea's coach, Avram Grant, could be one of the first coaches to lead his team to win the Champions League and still be sacked at the end of the season. His wife, Israeli TV personality Tzofit, drank her own urine on television to explore whether it delivered any health benefits. She has also bathed in chocolate and spaghetti.
It is only appropriate that the last match of the season is contested between the same teams that met in the first match of the season. Last August's Community Shield between Man U and Chelsea at Wembley was an entirely dire affair, which ended being won by, well, my muse can't remember (but it was on penalties).
For the sake of the English fans who have nothing to cheer for once the European Championship starts in two weeks time (apparently England didn't qualify), let's hope tonight's match is better.
Here Is The Writer : Madame B
Foreign-born Madame B thinks she's a City girl, but mostly just walks our streets checking things out and searching for the best wi-fi hotspots offered by The Cloud. You can spot her typing furiously on her shiny white MacBook, wearing dark sunglasses and drinking a glass of champagne. She's one half of the Shopaholics, which might explain things...
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