Skip Navigation

The Online Lifestyle Portal For London - Books, Music, Films, Charity, Shopping, Cinema, Kids, Holidays, Food & Drink

SOUND OFF

Register for FREE E-Mail Alerts

Ten Childbirth Shockers

Sweet - Aneta Blaszczyk
advertisment
Bespoke Vacations Generic
Best Loved Generic
This article isn't for everyone, and frankly, may be too explicit for some. But if you or your partner is pregnant for the first time, read on. Otherwise send it to your pregnant friend.
  1. Gestation is 40 weeks, which is 10 months. Not nine months.
  2. When waters break, they can absolutely gush. And then more amniotic fluid keeps leaking out for the next 24 hours. At least.
  3. Waters break at the beginning of labour in only 13% of pregnancies, and in 100% of Hollywood films.
  4. In the UK, there is no rush to get a baby out after waters break. Seventy-two hours is considered acceptable, although most hospitals prefer a shorter time, like 48. In many other countries, this is unheard of, and babies are ousted within 24 hours.
  5. Epidurals sound great, but it's not that uncommon for them to only work on one side.
  6. If that happens, you realise that gas & air rocks the house. It helps you focus on breathing and relaxing, then it makes you feel totally stoned (for a too-short time).
  7. The act of pushing a baby out is gnarly and positively animal. Apparently we aren't that evolved after all.
  8. Umbilical cords are actually rather beautiful (but they bleed a lot when they're cut). Placentas - not so nice looking.
  9. After delivery you will still look totally pregnant. Much of the shrinking of the uterus happens in the first week, but can take up to six weeks to shrink to its normal size (and breastfeeding can help speed up this process).
  10. Established becomes your favourite word. Established labour means you can get into the hospital, and even better, established breastfeeding means you can finally introduce a pacifier into that cute little mouth.

Here Is The Writer : Sarah Western Balzer

Sarah Western Balzer Sarah Western Balzer is the managing director of HITC Life and is always on the lookout for reader-writers, so if you'd like to be one, make yourself known (sarah.western@hereisthecity.com). Sarah moved to London six years ago from New York but is originally from Florida, and still suntans like it's 1989. She is so grateful to the banker who introduced her to Here Is The City that she married him, and they live in Wapping with their son.

view more articles by Sarah Western Balzer

Article Comments & Ratings

Add Comment (go on... log in)

Arrivals : Life on Arrival

What's On.....