Childbirth Shockers: A Male Perspective
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Last week's article on shocking facts about childbirth was quite popular, but alas, it was biased since it was from a female point of view. It seems only appropriate to strike a balance and reveal the most shocking facts about childbirth as experienced by the father.
- If you are a man and you want to be a part of your partners life after she gives birth, you have to be present at the birth. It's as simple as that.
- Your partner getting an epidural (i.e. a tube inserted in the spine) is probably one the grizzliest things that you will ever witness.
- The woman who you thought was gentle and sophisticated will surprise you by being able to swear like a sailor. And we don't mean one straight off Loveboat.
- You won't mind being subject to random orders being shouted at you. Such as "Water!", "More gas & air!" or "Ponytail!"
- You can tell the hair colour (if the baby happens to have hair) quite a while (let's say 10 minutes or so) before it is actually born.
- Babies don't have to be born completely yet to be able to cry. It is sufficient that the head sticks out. And no matter how hard you think you are, this will make you cry as well.
- Once the head is out, the rest (that's the entire body) literally FLIES out in a splash. So when they say the baby needs to be caught, this is not a euphemism.
- By this time, the whole thing will be an enormously bloody affair, but surprisingly you will think this is the most beautiful thing you have ever experienced.
- You will believe that it hurts.
- Actually, you will believe that it really, really hurts.
Here Is The Writer : Billy No Box
Billy No Box has worked in the city for six years, and currently works in Derivatives for a North American bank. He enjoys playing golf, reading books by Umberto Eco, singing "Copacabana" in the shower and at karaoke bars, and occasionally updating his blog about London and everything else.
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