Conversations With Sat Nav
Why is it so much fun to talk back to your sat nav?
The other day, sitting in London traffic with my sat nav on and an A-Z in my lap, I decided to get creative on a back street.
"Turn around when possible", I was told in a posh accent.
"No", I replied like a petulant toddler.
"Turn around when possible," she repeated.
"I absolutely fucking will not," I responded, until I remembered there was a soon-to-be-toddler in the back and I should watch my language.
And then I laughed, because I was having fun, and remembered a more abusive conversation my husband and I had with our close friends driving to a McDonald's in Germany after a heavy night at the World Cup.
"Turn around when possible," she said.
"Hell no! We're going to McDonald's!" someone hungover yelled.
"Fuck off, lady! We are not going that way!" another hungover person yelled.
What was wrong with us? And what is still wrong with me?
Clearly, we can say things to our sat nav we'd never say in real life. It's like an outlet for our bad selves, and best of all, one with no repercussions.
Got a problem with authority? Need to blow off steam? Have criminal tendencies?
Get a sat nav. You can disobey it left, right and ahead and still stand upright in society.
"Turn around when possible", I was told in a posh accent.
"No", I replied like a petulant toddler.
"Turn around when possible," she repeated.
"I absolutely fucking will not," I responded, until I remembered there was a soon-to-be-toddler in the back and I should watch my language.
And then I laughed, because I was having fun, and remembered a more abusive conversation my husband and I had with our close friends driving to a McDonald's in Germany after a heavy night at the World Cup.
"Turn around when possible," she said.
"Hell no! We're going to McDonald's!" someone hungover yelled.
"Fuck off, lady! We are not going that way!" another hungover person yelled.
What was wrong with us? And what is still wrong with me?
Clearly, we can say things to our sat nav we'd never say in real life. It's like an outlet for our bad selves, and best of all, one with no repercussions.
Got a problem with authority? Need to blow off steam? Have criminal tendencies?
Get a sat nav. You can disobey it left, right and ahead and still stand upright in society.



Foreign-born Madame B thinks she's a City girl, but mostly just walks our streets checking things out and searching for the best wi-fi hotspots offered by The Cloud. You can spot her typing furiously on her shiny white MacBook, wearing dark sunglasses and drinking a glass of champagne. She's one half of the Shopaholics, which might explain things...




