Last year, we looked at the miracle that is birth and its (mostly shocking) side effects. A year has gone by which means it's time to look at the shocker that is the first birthday party.

1. This is the one birthday that is more about the parents. Keep the champagne ready and fondly remember this party next year when you get your face painted by a bunch of toddlers.
2. Babies at the age of one barely socialise, so keep the guest list short in terms of fellow infants.
3. Don't expect your baby to blow out candles on the birthday cake. Babies are good at sucking, but not at blowing.
4. At the age of one most things chocolaty and sweet are still off limits. That's why you should consider a separate cake for the adults who won't be fooled by carrot cake that's been made with applesauce.
5. You will immediately come to terms with your parents, who used to annoy you on every birthday telling stories about your delivery. Because you will do the same.
6. You will realise that if you have a girl, you'll only have another 10 or 11 years before your sweet daughter turns into an unmanageable teenager.
7. You will realise that if you have a boy, he is already way behind all the other girls of the same age.
8. Remember not to invite those friends again who give your baby toys that make music, noises or both. If they have children, they should know better.
9. You will feel immensely proud that you have made it through the first year.
10. But you will still wonder where this year has gone. 

Here Is The Writer : Billy No Box

Billy No Box has worked in the city for six years, and currently works in Derivatives for a North American bank. He enjoys playing golf, reading books by Umberto Eco, singing "Copacabana" in the shower and at karaoke bars, and occasionally updating his blog about London and everything else.

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