First Birthday Shockers
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Last year, we looked at the miracle that is birth and its (mostly shocking) side effects. A year has gone by which means it's time to look at the shocker that is the first birthday party.
- This is the one birthday that is more about the parents. Keep the champagne ready and fondly remember this party next year when you get your face painted by a bunch of toddlers.
- Babies at the age of one barely socialise, so keep the guest list short in terms of fellow infants.
- Don't expect your baby to blow out candles on the birthday cake. Babies are good at sucking, but not at blowing.
- At the age of one most things chocolaty and sweet are still off limits. That's why you should consider a separate cake for the adults who won't be fooled by carrot cake that's been made with applesauce.
- You will immediately come to terms with your parents, who used to annoy you on every birthday telling stories about your delivery. Because you will do the same.
- You will realise that if you have a girl, you'll only have another 10 or 11 years before your sweet daughter turns into an unmanageable teenager.
- You will realise that if you have a boy, he is already way behind all the other girls of the same age.
- Remember not to invite those friends again who give your baby toys that make music, noises or both. If they have children, they should know better.
- You will feel immensely proud that you have made it through the first year.
- But you will still wonder where this year has gone.



Billy No Box has worked in the city for six years, and currently works in Derivatives for a North American bank. He enjoys playing golf, reading books by Umberto Eco, singing "Copacabana" in the shower and at karaoke bars, and occasionally updating 






