If the Lift Had Eyes
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- The World Through Google's Eyes (14/12/2008)
As I stood in the lift listening to two of the office gossips last week, I tried to keep the smirk off my face. One was revealing the latest office scandal the other was almost peeing herself with excitement. It’s a fact; if the lift had eyes and ears I think we’d all be in trouble.
Oh how I’d loved to be a fly on the wall in the lift for a day. To witness the office romances, a quick kiss here or cheeky grope there, the confessions of a trader bound for the stars (or a cell), the workers moaning about their boss, the secretaries revealing the boss’s secrets, the gossips revealing the latest scandal, the men’s confessions about the latest bit of office totty...ooooh I think it might be my most exciting day at work - ever.
The only aspect I think I wouldn’t relish in is our loud American colleagues talking either on their Blackberries or, more bizarrely, to the person standing next to them. Really, why do they insist on speaking so loudly? We’re in a lift! I’m not sure what lifts they have in America, but are they the size of the British office? It would certainly explain the unnecessary volume projecting out of their mouths. Maybe they just aren't accustomed to the confined space of a 15-person in a lift, but they need to readjust to the circumstance. All 15 people don’t want to hear it. Perhaps it’s because I’m British, but I can’t understand this almost offensive behaviour. And perhaps it’s just the nature of our friends across the pond - big burgers, big butts, and a big personalities.
But maybe it’s not a bad thing. The British are so polite sometimes it’s downright scary. So we think they’re loud, ultra-friendly and obnoxious. They probably think we’re quiet, reserved and downright rude. I have visions of me working in NYC with the boss saying, "Speak up there girl, I can’t hear you". Now that would make me laugh.
There are cameras everywhere in the office buildings, but let’s just hope they never find their way to the lifts. Because when the morgue (a.k.a office) becomes that bit too quiet and you need some entertainment, venture to the lift. There’s never a dull moment.
The only aspect I think I wouldn’t relish in is our loud American colleagues talking either on their Blackberries or, more bizarrely, to the person standing next to them. Really, why do they insist on speaking so loudly? We’re in a lift! I’m not sure what lifts they have in America, but are they the size of the British office? It would certainly explain the unnecessary volume projecting out of their mouths. Maybe they just aren't accustomed to the confined space of a 15-person in a lift, but they need to readjust to the circumstance. All 15 people don’t want to hear it. Perhaps it’s because I’m British, but I can’t understand this almost offensive behaviour. And perhaps it’s just the nature of our friends across the pond - big burgers, big butts, and a big personalities.
But maybe it’s not a bad thing. The British are so polite sometimes it’s downright scary. So we think they’re loud, ultra-friendly and obnoxious. They probably think we’re quiet, reserved and downright rude. I have visions of me working in NYC with the boss saying, "Speak up there girl, I can’t hear you". Now that would make me laugh.
There are cameras everywhere in the office buildings, but let’s just hope they never find their way to the lifts. Because when the morgue (a.k.a office) becomes that bit too quiet and you need some entertainment, venture to the lift. There’s never a dull moment.
Here Is The Writer : Accidental Accountant
Accidental Accountant is a twenty-something City girl parading the trading floors of investment banks, wondering everyday how she came to be here. She has been playing the corporate game for the last five years, has a passion for fashion, a fondness for partying, and a love/hate affair with City life. If you’ve ever thought you didn’t quite fit in, welcome to her world (and feel free to get in touch).
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