I Want You to Have a Bonus (As Long As It's Smaller Than Mine)
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In these tough times when bankers are blamed for everything that goes wrong, we have to look after ourselves.
Of course, that comes with the profession - we bankers have always tended to look after ourselves. When the arbitrage between what rating agencies thought was a 'AAA' and what really was risk-free was large enough to drive a Hummer through it, we happily sold repackaged trash to everyone as long as the profit seemed right. When it seemed right to make your father short an 'out-of-the-money equity put' on the worst of three stock indices (which of course by now is well in the money), we didn't hesitate either.
But now things are different. The name of the game used to be bankers ripping off the rest of the world, but that was before the industry started shrinking faster than you can say 'Rick Moranis movie'. And before it turned into a presidential duty to remind everybody that it is immoral to use bail-out money to refurnish your office.
In times like these, every dollar spent on somebody else's bonus is a dollar that is not yours. The pie is too small for everyone to have a slice and still be well-fed. Hence, if I want to have a decent piece of the cake, somebody else needs to make do with crumbs.
It's nothing personal, but in a dog-eat-dog world the room for generosity has evaporated quicker than RBS's market value.
So for the time being, I do want you to do well, but within limits. My bonus has been cut so I need yours to be cut equally. Otherwise, I suspect you might have my money, and you don't want to have me sitting next to you with this lingering feeling...
Don't worry, we'll be back to being The Waltons again when things pick up.
But maybe that's an 'if' rather than a 'when'.
But now things are different. The name of the game used to be bankers ripping off the rest of the world, but that was before the industry started shrinking faster than you can say 'Rick Moranis movie'. And before it turned into a presidential duty to remind everybody that it is immoral to use bail-out money to refurnish your office.
In times like these, every dollar spent on somebody else's bonus is a dollar that is not yours. The pie is too small for everyone to have a slice and still be well-fed. Hence, if I want to have a decent piece of the cake, somebody else needs to make do with crumbs.
It's nothing personal, but in a dog-eat-dog world the room for generosity has evaporated quicker than RBS's market value.
So for the time being, I do want you to do well, but within limits. My bonus has been cut so I need yours to be cut equally. Otherwise, I suspect you might have my money, and you don't want to have me sitting next to you with this lingering feeling...
Don't worry, we'll be back to being The Waltons again when things pick up.
But maybe that's an 'if' rather than a 'when'.
Here Is The Writer : Square Mylo
Square Mylo came to London with the intention of staying six months and never left. He has worked in Canary Wharf and in the Square Mile, but still maintains a clear conscience since he's never worked in Mayfair. Being a banker is his true calling. Maybe he should have listened more closely.
view more articles by Square Mylo
