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One recent phenomenon I have noticed in New York City is that there seems to be an increasingly diminished male-female ratio in several hot spots known to be fertile ground for meeting women.
As I dedicated myself to research and explored the matter further, I observed that there was such an abundance of women at the clubs and the lounges and that you no longer had to contend with sausage factories. The supply-demand curve was no longer in equilibrium. There was a disturbance in the force. Understandably, we are in an economic recession and people are less inclined to go out, but there are signs that the downturn has had more of gender-specific effect.
Is this observation biased because I am a man, or is there really a divergence occurring amongst the social order of bachelors and bachelorettes who reside here? Yes, there are more women in the city to begin with, but in the never-ending playground that is NYC, there simply seems to be an absence of men.
Statistics show that in the decline, there have been more men laid off than women. “Close to 80 percent of the job losses since December 2007 were jobs held by men," according to economics expert Mark J. Perry, who analyzed Bureau of Labor Statistics data. "April unemployment was a seasonally adjusted 10 percent for men and 7.6 percent for women.” It makes sense when you think about which have been some of the most hard hit industries: homebuilding, anything automobile related and Wall Street, all of which for years have been dominated by men. Now, due to an exodus of jobs in those fields, it appears that there is also a disappearance of those same guys from the nocturnal activities the city so graciously has to offer.
How has the decline affected the psychology of men? A large part of how a man identifies and distinguishes himself from others comes from his career choices and his performance at work. Without that he feels somewhat emasculated; he’s used to being the provider, the head honcho, the numero uno. His machismo quickly fades if he’s been out of work awhile and has to start being creative with his explanations to friends. “I’m taking a break, a prolonged sabbatical, just delving into personal projects.”
This leads me to believe there will be a return of the gentleman. The acceptance of the words 'bitch and ho' will quickly fade from vocabularies and the reintroduction of the sensitive man will be in vogue; our current President is a leading example. And so for the ladies, a return to the old days when you could say, “What have you done for me lately?” and have a man scramble to get you flowers, write a poem or give you a foot massage might be back.
What has the descent meant for the psychology of women? When a woman gets laid off, she might be more inclined to seek comfort and support from others. In general, I think women are less egotistical than men and therefore are not as held back from the loss. It does not have to mean a complete meltdown of their self-worth, as in the man’s case. She doesn’t necessarily preclude herself from social events and might seek solace from them. Some women even say that because of the uncertain environment they do not make commitment a priority and look for more dalliances; they are actually more sexually charged. Given the times, some don’t want to be alone and are more open to giving one of their 'satellites' - or the guy they turned down once before - a second chance.
With fewer men being the aggressors, more and more women are stepping up to the plate to fill in the gap. And in this day and age of cougars and milfs, it’s an acceptable practice for women of any age to make the first move.
Has the crisis caused the male and female dating roles to be inextricably altered forever? Probably not, but at least for the time being, who leads and who follows in the delicate dance of flirtation, courtship and seduction, is changing.
Is this observation biased because I am a man, or is there really a divergence occurring amongst the social order of bachelors and bachelorettes who reside here? Yes, there are more women in the city to begin with, but in the never-ending playground that is NYC, there simply seems to be an absence of men.
Statistics show that in the decline, there have been more men laid off than women. “Close to 80 percent of the job losses since December 2007 were jobs held by men," according to economics expert Mark J. Perry, who analyzed Bureau of Labor Statistics data. "April unemployment was a seasonally adjusted 10 percent for men and 7.6 percent for women.” It makes sense when you think about which have been some of the most hard hit industries: homebuilding, anything automobile related and Wall Street, all of which for years have been dominated by men. Now, due to an exodus of jobs in those fields, it appears that there is also a disappearance of those same guys from the nocturnal activities the city so graciously has to offer.
How has the decline affected the psychology of men? A large part of how a man identifies and distinguishes himself from others comes from his career choices and his performance at work. Without that he feels somewhat emasculated; he’s used to being the provider, the head honcho, the numero uno. His machismo quickly fades if he’s been out of work awhile and has to start being creative with his explanations to friends. “I’m taking a break, a prolonged sabbatical, just delving into personal projects.”
This leads me to believe there will be a return of the gentleman. The acceptance of the words 'bitch and ho' will quickly fade from vocabularies and the reintroduction of the sensitive man will be in vogue; our current President is a leading example. And so for the ladies, a return to the old days when you could say, “What have you done for me lately?” and have a man scramble to get you flowers, write a poem or give you a foot massage might be back.
What has the descent meant for the psychology of women? When a woman gets laid off, she might be more inclined to seek comfort and support from others. In general, I think women are less egotistical than men and therefore are not as held back from the loss. It does not have to mean a complete meltdown of their self-worth, as in the man’s case. She doesn’t necessarily preclude herself from social events and might seek solace from them. Some women even say that because of the uncertain environment they do not make commitment a priority and look for more dalliances; they are actually more sexually charged. Given the times, some don’t want to be alone and are more open to giving one of their 'satellites' - or the guy they turned down once before - a second chance.
With fewer men being the aggressors, more and more women are stepping up to the plate to fill in the gap. And in this day and age of cougars and milfs, it’s an acceptable practice for women of any age to make the first move.
Has the crisis caused the male and female dating roles to be inextricably altered forever? Probably not, but at least for the time being, who leads and who follows in the delicate dance of flirtation, courtship and seduction, is changing.
Here Is The Writer : Sayheykid
Sayheykid lives in New York and has worked in the financial services industry for over 10 years. Currently a VP in Regulatory Reporting at a large bank that has received TARP money, he has survived through the drama of layoffs, constant reorganization, public finger pointing, and vicious brow beatings. Navigating through the financial headwaters has made him a bit more contemplative about what life is truly about, and will be writing about how things have changed in light of the events of the last year.
view more articles by Sayheykid
Article Comments & Ratings
David 8th Jul, 4:55pm
Very sage observations, and very true about men and their identity based on their job (and having a job). I've also noticed more women around lately by percentage as well, but it doesn't make the dating game in NYC any easier...
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hellokitty 7th Jul, 2:36am
I've noticed the absence of men ... but never thought to attribute it to the economy. Now we have another reason for a new stimulus package ... so to speak. :)
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