Grooming the Groom
advertisment
More in LOVED UP
back-up- Why You've Been Inexplicably Dumped
- Opening the Ex-Files
- So You Think You're Good in Bed?
- Why Thirtysomething Men Have it All
- Corporate Intranets: A Stalker's Paradise
- Credit Crunch Dating Takes a Dive
- Separate Bedrooms: Ruin? Or Just Rest?
- Recession Living: Dumped or Loved Up?
- The Intimate Details No One Needs
- The Truth About Dating Traders
Mr Properly, one-half of HITC's etiquette team, delivers part two of our trilogy on wedding necessities for guys. There are a lot of chances in between the ring (Article One) and the honeymoon (Article Three) for the groom to leave his mark. Should he so desire.
Mr Properly proposed to Mrs Properly on Hungerford Bridge, and married her in a tiny ceremony. Then they had several parties around the world. We saw their pictures and heard the stories, and figured he'd be the right man to share his expertise.
Mr Properly's Guide To Getting Hitched
In the past, the groom's duties were firmly limited to proposing, showing up at the wedding on time (and ideally sober), and planning (and paying for) the honeymoon.
It is understandable that men occasionally regret not having lived a few hundred years ago when their role within society and family was well-defined. For the modern man it is sometimes hard to know what one should and should not do.
The Proposal
No matter how modern a relationship is, two truths exist: women like being proposed to, and men like proposing on their own terms. Nothing puts you more firmly in the driver's seat than choosing the right time, location and tone for the proposal. Pick a place that is important to you both and a setting that matches your style. The main thing is asking, you do not have to have the ring at the ready. As she will hopefully wear the engagement ring for the rest of her life, go ring shopping together once she has accepted. That shows you do not want to impose your taste upon her - a nice sign of respect.
The Planning
While it is common knowledge that women dream about their wedding from the age of six, it doesn't mean that men cannot get involved in the planning. Your wedding should be an event that reflects your style as a couple, not only your future wife's childhood fantasy. If your thoughts on the venue and theme differ, try amalgamating them into a unique combination. She wants a Laura Ashley garden setting? That does not rule out the suckling pig you suggest. But one thing is paramount during the planning stage: your primary role is to be the calming influence keeping everybody else sane.
The Wedding
A wedding is a rather traditional affair, and there is nothing with being a little old fashioned. Add to the excitement by not spending the night before together and keeping apart until you meet at the venue. Before things get serious, spend the day relaxing - go to the gym and have breakfast with good friends, and definitely abstain from drinking to calm your nerves. Having a (sincere) love letter delivered to the bride's suite as she prepares ensures she'll be glowing when she walks down the aisle. And that will make you doubly proud that you have made the right choice.
The Honeymoon
In terms of involvement, this is your big one. Above all, it should be memorable, but that does not have to mean rose pedals and horse carriage rides if this it not your thing. Try taking off for your honeymoon as soon after the wedding as possible to keep the momentum going. You want to avoid it simply becoming another holiday. Surprise her with thoughtful touches, like dinner on a remote beach or in-room massages. Or simply look after her like she is the most important thing in your life. Because she is.
Mr Properly's Guide To Getting Hitched
In the past, the groom's duties were firmly limited to proposing, showing up at the wedding on time (and ideally sober), and planning (and paying for) the honeymoon.
It is understandable that men occasionally regret not having lived a few hundred years ago when their role within society and family was well-defined. For the modern man it is sometimes hard to know what one should and should not do.
The Proposal
No matter how modern a relationship is, two truths exist: women like being proposed to, and men like proposing on their own terms. Nothing puts you more firmly in the driver's seat than choosing the right time, location and tone for the proposal. Pick a place that is important to you both and a setting that matches your style. The main thing is asking, you do not have to have the ring at the ready. As she will hopefully wear the engagement ring for the rest of her life, go ring shopping together once she has accepted. That shows you do not want to impose your taste upon her - a nice sign of respect.
The Planning
While it is common knowledge that women dream about their wedding from the age of six, it doesn't mean that men cannot get involved in the planning. Your wedding should be an event that reflects your style as a couple, not only your future wife's childhood fantasy. If your thoughts on the venue and theme differ, try amalgamating them into a unique combination. She wants a Laura Ashley garden setting? That does not rule out the suckling pig you suggest. But one thing is paramount during the planning stage: your primary role is to be the calming influence keeping everybody else sane.
The Wedding
A wedding is a rather traditional affair, and there is nothing with being a little old fashioned. Add to the excitement by not spending the night before together and keeping apart until you meet at the venue. Before things get serious, spend the day relaxing - go to the gym and have breakfast with good friends, and definitely abstain from drinking to calm your nerves. Having a (sincere) love letter delivered to the bride's suite as she prepares ensures she'll be glowing when she walks down the aisle. And that will make you doubly proud that you have made the right choice.
The Honeymoon
In terms of involvement, this is your big one. Above all, it should be memorable, but that does not have to mean rose pedals and horse carriage rides if this it not your thing. Try taking off for your honeymoon as soon after the wedding as possible to keep the momentum going. You want to avoid it simply becoming another holiday. Surprise her with thoughtful touches, like dinner on a remote beach or in-room massages. Or simply look after her like she is the most important thing in your life. Because she is.
Here Is The Writer : Mr & Mrs Properly
Mr and Mrs Properly will never come to your home empty-handed. They hold doors for young and old alike, always say please and thank you (especially to each other), and try not to be judgemental when they witness bad manners. Their bookshelves feature works by Debrett's, Knigge, Miss Manners and Emily Post, and when they're bored, they write this column for Here Is The City while making dinner. Both work in the City.
view more articles by Mr & Mrs Properly
