Am I Becoming a Drunk?
The Soul Sister gets a question, but is it one of drinking too much, or wanting more out of life?
Dear Soul Sister
I have always thought that something (like drinking) has become a problem if it gets in the way of your responsibilities. But I feel like I'm teetering on the edge, even though for the most part, it (OK, drinking) isn't getting in the way of my real life. Admittedly, I've been too hung over to go to work a few times in the past few years, but isn't that normal? I'm a 29 year old girl and these are supposed to be my days of fun!
Martini Maven
Dear Maven
As you probably know, there are varying definitions of addiction. Some addiction centers would have you believe that a close liking of anything at all is the manifestation of an addiction. Some would classify drinking alcohol every day as an addiction - not unlike people saying they are 'depressed' when they are really just 'sad'.
So let us not worry about labels, but look at what you are really asking me a(nd yourself): Am I at the beginning of losing control over my drinking, and my life?
Is your missing work due to drinking an increasing problem? And is your concern that you aren't coping as well as before? Are you're wondering whatever will happen next?
I can't help but notice you're approaching an important milestone - 30. Very often we tend to take stock at these dates. How do you feel about your life so far? Has it really been fun? Or have you been hoping for a little more fun or even a little more joy? Have you wanted your life to take more shape and make more sense?
If you have been wanting a bit more, perhaps it's been easier to just have a laugh and lose yourself in your work and a few drinks. But once you start waking up with more than just a hangover - and a sense of déjà-vu or emptiness - it could be time to ponder those profound questions. And for those you need a sober head, a clear mind and lots of energy.
Lots of stressed City folk need - and then find they like - to hear it like it is: that it's time to wake up and smell the coffee.
If you want to live your life fully and joyfully, maybe it's time to find other ways to be happy than partying. Maybe that's one definition of fun, but not the one you're meant to be having at this stage.
It takes energy and time, but there are lots of resources out there to help you find your path, and I wish you all the best in finding it!
I have always thought that something (like drinking) has become a problem if it gets in the way of your responsibilities. But I feel like I'm teetering on the edge, even though for the most part, it (OK, drinking) isn't getting in the way of my real life. Admittedly, I've been too hung over to go to work a few times in the past few years, but isn't that normal? I'm a 29 year old girl and these are supposed to be my days of fun!
Martini Maven
Dear Maven
As you probably know, there are varying definitions of addiction. Some addiction centers would have you believe that a close liking of anything at all is the manifestation of an addiction. Some would classify drinking alcohol every day as an addiction - not unlike people saying they are 'depressed' when they are really just 'sad'.
So let us not worry about labels, but look at what you are really asking me a(nd yourself): Am I at the beginning of losing control over my drinking, and my life?
Is your missing work due to drinking an increasing problem? And is your concern that you aren't coping as well as before? Are you're wondering whatever will happen next?
I can't help but notice you're approaching an important milestone - 30. Very often we tend to take stock at these dates. How do you feel about your life so far? Has it really been fun? Or have you been hoping for a little more fun or even a little more joy? Have you wanted your life to take more shape and make more sense?
If you have been wanting a bit more, perhaps it's been easier to just have a laugh and lose yourself in your work and a few drinks. But once you start waking up with more than just a hangover - and a sense of déjà-vu or emptiness - it could be time to ponder those profound questions. And for those you need a sober head, a clear mind and lots of energy.
Lots of stressed City folk need - and then find they like - to hear it like it is: that it's time to wake up and smell the coffee.
If you want to live your life fully and joyfully, maybe it's time to find other ways to be happy than partying. Maybe that's one definition of fun, but not the one you're meant to be having at this stage.
It takes energy and time, but there are lots of resources out there to help you find your path, and I wish you all the best in finding it!
Here Is The Writer : Annegret O'Dwyer
Annegret O'Dwyer is a psychotherapist who has had a practise in Harley Street for 10 years, and recently opened one in Southbank. She is accredited and licensed by the UKCP (United Kingdom Council of Psychotherapy) and the EAP (European Association of Psychotherapists). Her favourite book is How to be Happy by the Dalai Lama, and The Right to Speak by Patsy Rodenburg, and she likes spending her evenings at the cinema or theatre.
www.annegretodwyer.co.uk
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