Mr. Properly and I almost got in a row about thank you notes after our last article. "Surely there are some times you would do it," I continued. But he insisted again, "No, men do not send thank you notes. Ever."

"But that's absurd!" I cried. "Isn't there some way, some how?"

I mean honestly. What about thanking your wife's parents for the wedding they threw you? Or how about thanking your best friend for the cute layette he (and his wife, of course) sent for your firstborn? How about thanking the CEO of your company for inviting you to a small round-table discussion?

"Email. We just send emails. Although admittedly I did send a bottle of whisky to your dad as a thank you after our wedding."

"You did? Honey! I had no idea."

Mr. Properly just smiles smugly.

But I still maintain (alone here, if you'll notice) that there has to be something in between an email and a bottle of single-malt.

One of Mr. P's best friends is gay, so naturally has great taste and impeccable manners. He sends thank you notes on personalised stationary. Perfect for him, but I can see that's perhaps a bit outside the comfort zone of most men.

Most men, I'd like to add, who grew up sending the thank you notes their mothers forced them to write.

And we still get them today, from nephews and friends' sons, although these days they're more high-tech, featuring cute photos of the kid using the gift, with his backwards letters and drawings all around. Whatever works works to get them done.

So at what age do boys stop writing thank you notes? When mum isn't there to enforce them?

If I was a man, here's what I'd do: order personalised stationery with my initials on top in a plain, black font, and exert my manliness in the message messily scrawled across the card sideways.

"Loved the day on your boat - thanks again. All the best, P."

"Thanks for a great dinner - hope all goes well with the deal/girl/whatever. P."

"Hilariously sweet baby gift - thanks for thinking of us. P"

Seriously, men, just try it.

And if it works, you don't even need to thank me.


All the best,

Mrs. P

Here Is The Writer : Mr & Mrs Properly

Mr and Mrs Properly will never come to your home empty-handed. They hold doors for young and old alike, always say please and thank you (especially to each other), and try not to be judgemental when they witness bad manners. Their bookshelves feature works by Debrett's, Knigge, Miss Manners and Emily Post, and when they're bored, they write this column for Here Is The City while making dinner. Both work in the City.

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